The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize