I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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