i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
