counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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