I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
