Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head

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(847): View more from Illinois

Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund

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(971): View more from Oregon

I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.

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(513): View more from Ohio

constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.

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(850): View more from Florida

Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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(214): View more from Texas

He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce

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