Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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