It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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