oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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