i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize