I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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