i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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