so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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