Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
