Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
