No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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