he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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