i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
