North Korea, Best Korea!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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