making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
