you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
