Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry 513cincinnati hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.

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(440): View more from Ohio

any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?

Fav 13 1341 5249
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.

Fav 3 2951 996
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.

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(623): View more from Arizona

How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?

(1-623): View more from Arizona

You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

and how was that received?

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