I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My dick has a subreddit
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
