I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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