I'm so fucking centered right now
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
