I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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