google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
