Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
