my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
