Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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