he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
