I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
