Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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