What did we do last night that was yellow?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
