i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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