So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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