I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
