I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
