i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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