Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
