Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize