yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize