If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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