I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize