It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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