nut hugger
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
