wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
