I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
