If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
