Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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