don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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