strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
