I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
