if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
