Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
