I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The struggles of a small town man whore
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
